I was babysitting a 5 year old and a 2 year old one night. The 2 year old was down for a nap, so me and the 5 year old, Mikey, were watching his favorite movie--Transformers.
Mikey made a comment that he would love to be as tall as the Transformers were. I agreed and said that it would be really cool. Mikey then told me that I couldn't be that tall because, "boys were made to be taller than girls so they can look down their shirts." I was completely dumbfounded by this. Mikey loved his trucks, action figures, etc so he was very "boyish" in that sense, but he never made any comments before about girls, especially about their appearances. His parents monitored the TV shows he watched, taught him about respecting all people, held him accountable when he used foul language or made rude comments, etc.
In my eyes, his parents were doing everything right, and I feel that there's no way he could have learned a comment like that at home. He is limited to certain shows he can watch, the worst being Spongebob (which isn't even that bad). Transformers and other super hero movies are his favorite, and they do get a bit raunchy from time to time, but I feel like he wouldn't have picked up on it from those. The last option, then, would be his school. I know that kids at school, especially his age, are aware of gender differences, but I had no idea that 5 year olds even knew that (stereotypically) boys look down girls' shirts. Could he have really learned about something like this at school?
This made me think about if and how parents can protect their children from picking up these messages unless they were to completely shut them out of society, which is totally unrealistic obviously. I can imagine the frustration of going through all the effort to child-safe your home, just for it to be picked up on from other kids at school or daycare.
My questions are: Where do you think gender roles, stereotypes, etc are first learned in children? Do you think there is a realistic way for parents to protect children from acquiring these messages? What do you feel are the dangers in children learning mature gender roles/stereotypes such as this one at such a young age?
I believe that there is no way a parent can monitor everything a child does, it is impossible. Children are surrounded by a number of influences such as peers, media and home culture. Even if a child’s home culture is enclosed with positive influences it still does not counteract all of the negative influences that the child comes in contact with on a daily bases. I feel gender roles are also taught in and out of the home, for example a parent will make comments like “no those boy toys” and vice versa and school culture will teach children about gender roles in society, whether they are right or wrong. Then it is up to the parents to correct these misconceptions and make sure that the children create their own sense of gender.
ReplyDeleteI wonder about "creating their own sense of gender" when, that sense is socially constructed -- maybe it depends on who has the most interactions with a child, who the child is most influenced by, who the child emulates, etc. Our own sense of anything, especially as children, is more likely to be constructed from the social resources around us -- I think your point, Rebe, at the beginning of your response.
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