I always joke and say that my dad raised me as a boy because
I am definitely familiar with as much stereotypical male knowledge as I am with
stereotypically female knowledge. Yes I can cook well, clean, sew decently, do
my hair and makeup, care for people, etc—but I also drive a big truck, love to
get muddy, am familiar with cars, play Call of Duty, avidly keep up with
sports, etc. I’ve noticed that most
males don’t have an issue with this—I have mostly male friends and none of them
think that their “manly hood” is being threatened by me having some masculine
knowledge. Females however (well, most of the ones I’ve been in contact with)
think that it’s either super weird in a negative way, or treat me like I have
super powers or something. After actually thinking about this, I’m pretty
surprised. I drive a lot of old, classic cars to car shows because my family is
a huge participant in them, and whenever I get out, all the older men gawk—I can’t
tell you how many times I’ve heard, “Look! It’s a lady driver!” This always
made me think that all men had this type of thought process and reaction; however
men around my age (I’m 22 so 18-25ish range) seem to shrug it off and just make
conversation as normal. I never would have thought that so many females, both
older and around my age range, would be so dumbfounded at me engaging in “masculine”
activities and interests without also dressing like a tom-boy—I’m just
straddling the line and I feel like a lot of women don’t really know how to
handle it.
While thinking about the reasons why women may not understand,
I started to reflect on the images of women we see today and if that had
anything to do with it. Every commercial I have paid attention to has been
females doing either doing safe things in a home, as a mother, as a best friend
to other females, or provocative things. I looked through a bunch of my
magazines and did not find a single photo of a female doing something masculine
in there. In Chapter 1 of Gauntlett it says, “Magazines aimed at women, and
increasingly those for men, contain all kinds of advice on how to live, look,
and interact,” (Gauntlett 3). Reading this finally made me have a sort of “Ah-ha”
moment. Women’s magazines portray very feminine things while, if a male does
show up, he does very masculine things. Females are usually modeling makeup,
laughing with their friends, sitting at home, etc. Men’s magazines, after
stealing some of my friends’ and looking through them, show various women doing
masculine things such as working on a car, drinking beer, sitting on the tail-gait
of a truck, etc. Now, I admit these females are usually dressed a little
skimpy, even overly sexy in some photos, but the general idea of a female being
present during these masculine activities is still being absorbed and
conditioned. This idea could be backed up by Gauntlett on page 7 when it says
that men’s magazines “encourage men to understand women and face up to modern
realities,” (Gauntlett 7).
It’s frustrating because I always hear about how females are
breaking barriers and not going to give into the traditional way, but their
attitudes about this do not reflect their behaviors. In fact, a lot of the
females I know—the same ones that say traditionalism is ridiculous—are also saying
that or
are utterly terrified that they will never be married because they do not know
how to cook fancy meals or use a washing machine, or are only dating males that want to be the bread-winners of the household. My parents raised me to be an
individual, not a woman, not a man—they never said that I could not be with my
dad while he worked on his car, or that I needed to take mental notes when my
mom was cooking. I feel that your identity as whole, as a person, is so much
greater than your identity as a specific gender, and that more people should
not only change their attitudes about this, but also their behaviors.
My question would be what you think today’s definitions of femininity
and masculinity are and if you agree or disagree with my observations.
I agree with your observation of gender roles, but I don’t agree with Gauntlett’s idea of magazines encouraging men to understand women. I would say magazines cause the opposite result, every page layout I have seen displaying an image of a women has been unrealistic. Whether it is Oprah Winfrey in her home or Beyonce at one of her concerts, the illustrations do not truly embody the true definition of a woman because the photographs that are taken are just that pictures. When looking at the “O” Oprah‘s magazine she looks like a queen, her make -up is done, she has is wearing her fine jewelry and she is sometimes photographed in one of her fabulous homes. How does this teach man anything about women? Beyonce is another women that is glamourize in magazines, she is sometimes photographed in sexy possess or reveling outfits, I ask again how does this reflect a women’s image?
ReplyDeleteBoth you have made me stop and really think about the issues you are raising --
ReplyDeleteCertainly, Rebe, my analysis of most magazines' patterns of portraying women concur with yours -- women are often shown as pretty things -- adorned in make-up and lots of hair but not much else. Oprah aside, they are usually unrealistically thin (not to mention the health issues associated with too little fat on one's body). Objectification of women has been a major concern for the feminist movement -- and still is -- I don't see that cultural perspective changing much -- I also see this view of women influencing the rise in violence against women including rape.
Abbi, your situation is so interesting because you name yourself as an example of a "whole" person who embodies many traditional male and female behaviors. How wonderful that you grew up in a space that seemed to open many possibilities for you could to decide who you wanted to be. And, while, your identity is still socially constructed with many outside influences coming into play, it sounds like the kinds of interactions available to you with others (e.g. your father) helped make choices about self more of a reality.
To answer your question, I think in many domains, traditional male and female definitions hold; for example, no matter how many women have entered the workplace, statistics show that women still shoulder the responsibilities at home and with children, so much so, that it is called the "second shift". However, society has changed enough so that, as you point out, younger men and women don't seem so surprised at gender fluidity but, yes, certainly progressive behavior doesn't always follow the talk!
I totally agree with your observations. It is sad. I think the biggest issue for modern feminists truly is the mentality of women themselves. In a sense the doors have been opened for us to go free, but we remain caged in the box, unaware or unwilling to acknowledge our freedom. If we want everyone, men and women alike, to acknowledge the equality, we have to start behaving as equals. My best friend and I are dubbed as men in our social circle because we enjoy wearing sweatpants and no makeup to group gatherings and playing sports with the guys. Then the other girls wonder how we are so close with the guys. It is more beneficial and fun for all to break out of the constraints of gender classifications.
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