Names, Gender, & Identity

The discussions in class about names have really had me thinking about people and their identities, and how much of an impact a name really has on people’s lives. I have always been fascinated with names and identity, so I was very excited in hearing about people’s names in class.
What first got me interested in this was my name story. My dad wanted me to be named Cassandra, but my mom hated it and wanted me to start with “A” because of my older sister having an “A” name. One day my mom was watching the Home Shopping Network and saw a porcelain doll named Abigail being sold and boom, I had a name. What always gets me is that, whenever I tell people this, they always say, "Oh yeah, you wouldn’t be a good Cassandra” or, “you don’t look like a Cassandra.” Well, why? What makes someone a “Cassandra” over an “Abigail/Abbi” and what do I have/not have to make me more of an “Abigail/Abbi?” It has also made me think about how my life would have changed, if even at all, if I was actually named Cassandra.

A friend of mine is pregnant right now. Growing up, we always talked about what we would name our kids and why, so I didn’t think she’d have an issue with names other than narrowing down her choice. Strangely enough, she doesn’t like any of them now and she’s completely freaking out over the naming process. She keeps saying that she’s afraid that the name she and her husband pick won’t be the “right name” for her baby. It made me think about the naming process in general. Parents pick names that they like, whether there’s a meaning behind them or they just like the name itself—they have no idea what their baby’s personality is going to be like, what they’ll look like, etc. So how, then, does a name “fit” a person? I’m still not sure how to explain, or feel about, this idea. (I hope that I even make sense right now because I’ve rewritten this like 10 times). I do think that your name, along with gender, are the foundation for how your identity starts…I’m just not sure to what extent your name impacts your life or how.  

I also wonder about how names and gender correlate. I babysat an adorable little girl named Ryan when I was in high school, and ever since I’ve been fascinated with the idea of naming a daughter of mine a “boy” name. I started thinking about how cool it would be to break the norm with something as powerful as a name. I still have a hard time wrapping my head around if a male was named a “girl” name though. My cousin’s ex-boyfriends name is Ashley, and I never knew how I felt about it (which I know is wrong of me). I feel that boys with “girl” names would be bullied to a certain extent in school, especially at a young age. Yes, this could also be said about girls with “boy” names, but I don’t think it would be as harsh as boys would.

My questions are: How do you feel your name impacts who you are as a person?  Do you think your life would be different If you were named something else? And how do you feel about “gender-switching” names?